Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Teen Angst

OMG, I found this poem that I wrote when I was still a teenager, it's so cheesy it cracks me up:


Untitled

Happiness, I had it once
not a worry on this earth
No upset or disappointment
could make me hide my mirth

The sun would shine on rainy days
and I was never without a doubt
That there was one reason, one reason only
why it had all come about

I must admit, it was because of him
that my dreary days were light
But now it's gone away forever
lost without even a fight

It still pains to think of my trust
and I can't even try
To think of wanting another man
to replace that shitty guy

But now I think it's better for us
to be so far apart
Cause if I wasn't so important to him
then he didn't deserve my heart

I know that when he talks to friends
he may try to laugh or boast
But me, I'll sit back and smile
cause he lost out the most.

Selections from "He's Just Not That Into You"

The following are excerpts taken from the little mini-book, "He's Just Not That Into You" -- some of them are funny, some of them reflect my own experiences, some are what I'd like my dearest girlfriends to realize, and some are ridiculously unrealistic. But I get a kick out of them nonetheless!

And yes, I know many super-nice guys who have been hurt by women who've done some of these things below... I know it goes both ways. But hey, I can't help if I am a girl and this book was written for women about men!

Having said that, at the moment I am quite happy and have no reason to read the book other than trying to find a piece of advice to pass on... or a funny anecdote anyways... :P


Here are my top 15 selections:

1. We are all beautiful, smart, funny women, and we shouldn't be wasting our time figuring out why a guy isn't calling us.

2. A man would rather be trampled by elephants that are on fire than tell you that he's just not that into you.

3. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.

4. There are ways to travel and be in a relationship, and there are ways to travel and make sure you stay out of one. The easy way to know the difference is if the guy tells you all the time how bummed he is that he has to keep leaving you. If he is not making a serious effort to make sure that while he's out of town you don't go out and find someone else, then I think you've just boarded the he's-just-not-that-into-you jet. Buckle up.

5. Better than nothing is not good enough for you!

6. There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he's your boyfriend.

7. Your lost self-esteem may take longer to find than a new boyfriend, so prioritize accordingly.

8. Drinking and drug use are not a path to one's innermost feelings. Otherwise people wouldn't smash empty beer cans against their skulls or stick their fingers in fire to see if they can feel anything.

9. He's just not that into you if he doesn't want to marry you. Loves cures commitment-phobia.

10. Don't spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you.

11. One hundred percent of the guys polled told us they would have no problem marrying a woman whom they were positive was the love of their life. One man answered, "What kind of knucklehead has a problem marrying the love of his life?"

12. A guy says he doesn't want to be with you. Sometimes that guy realizes he's made the biggest mistake of his life. And then sometimes he doesn't. Either way, either way, your only job is to move on with your life, and fast.

13. There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.

14. The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.

15. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve.

A New Start

School starts in less than a week. Believe it or not, I always look forward to going back to work after 2 months off. I don't know what it is, but by the end of the summer I am ready to get back to it. Usually that feeling wears off quickly after school begins though... ;)

I have been going in to work for a few days to set up my classroom, and it definitely feels like I am back at work. After all, I am working. I wish I could just lead a life of leisure! D'oh...

This year, not only am I taking on a major practicum student-teacher, but I am also going to be working toward my Masters degree in Educational Practice. I have had student teachers before, so I know what I am getting myself into in that regard, but I have no idea how much work I will have to do for the MEd. program... and I am starting to panic. It's easy to contemplate doing all these tasks outside of regular teaching when I am relaxing during the summer, but crunch-time is quickly approaching. Will I be able to handle it? Time will tell.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Rant - During the Teacher's Strike

Well isn't it funny -- today I got called and asked to answer a survey about my post-secondary exploits. And one of the questions they asked me was what I do in my job as a TEACHER.

Like, holy crow, as if anyone can do that in one sentence:
- create and develop curriculum, unit & lesson plans for all subject areas
- teach all subject areas, including: Math, Science, English, French, Social Studies, Drama, Art, CAPP and Physical Education
- integrate learning activities to address tactile, auditory, visual and billion other types of learners
- do a zillion hours of marking every week (one of my my least favourite parts)
- use authentic assessment activities from a variety of sources; provide feedback to students and myself
- run an integrated Advisory program
- address all of my students' academic, social, and behavioural needs
- develop adapted and modified learning plans for students that are: Learning Disabled, ESL, Gifted, Emotionally Challenged, Physically Challenged, Behaviourally Challenged, Special Needs
- deal with conflict, racism, bullying, hormones, drug use, sexual actvity, child abuse & neglect
- communicate effectively with all parents regularly via email, telephone, interviews, formal and informal reports
- evaluate student performance in all academic, social & behavioural areas
- sit on several commitees that promote the academic, behavioural, or social development of students
- attend mandatory workshops on Professional Days to develop and improve my own skills
- give up lunch hours, break times, and after school time to volunteer to coach sports teams throughout the year, and sponsor clubs
- participate in the Intramurals program
- offer extra help and tutorials before and after school, as often as possible
- develop meaningful connections with students (that's my most favourite part actually)
- attend and coordinate school events and other functions that happen outside of regular school time
- act as a parent, counselor, arbitrator, mediator, disciplinarian, judge, jury, confidante, advocate.

I'm going to stop here. Making a list like this is frustrating because putting some of these items in point form, doesn't do justice to their scope. And if you're not a teacher, you might see similarities among points when in fact they don't overlap in the slightest. There's SO much involved with teaching that doing this job for a week wouldn't really give an accurate picture of what the school year is like.

It's the most difficult, challenging, at times demoralizing, frustrating, sad and scary job I have ever done. But it's also meaningful, inspiring, rewarding, joy-filled, pride-filled and the best experience I have ever had. I love going to school. I love working with kids, getting to know them as people and helping them succeed in even the smallest endeavors (which may or may not be academic).

Let's keep in mind though, that I have only been teaching for 5 years. Is it any wonder why teachers have a super high burn-out rate? Is it any wonder why so many new teachers leave the profession within the first 5 years? If you care enough about what you do, you put 200% into everything -- and the responsibilities never end, and there's always more you could be doing.

Yes, teachers are underpaid. I know we aren't the only ones. But nobody gets into teaching for the money. I don't really care that I spent 7 years in university, have worked 5 years in my chosen field, and only make 45 grand a year. I wish it was more, so that I didn't have to carry the huge debtload that I incurred after university. At the moment I am doing coursework to improve my position on the payscale. Yes, MORE education on top of my job. This is my first semester -- we'll see how it goes, hopefully I can avoid dropping out, quitting my job, or having a nervous breakdown.

But my working conditions? The students' learning conditions? That is just going too far. I don't give a flying fig about a pay raise if you put 10 more kids in my class. Having 30 teenagers in one room is more than enough for one person to handle, thankyouverymuch. There's only one of me!! The more students there are, the less I am able to help them. And they all need their own particular brand of help.

Plus, the more kids I get with special needs or learning disabilities, the more time I spend on them. Which would be great if I was TRAINED to help those kids. I'm not. I'm a generalist -- kinda like a jack of all trades. Master of none? I'd like to be Master of some, anyways. Other kids that need a little extra help can't get it if all my time is taken up dealing with a Special Needs student, explaining to an ESL student, or calming down a Severe Behavioural student. All those kids need to have support in order to succeed in the classroom! One teacher can't do it all!

Anyways, there's enough stress in the job of teaching that it's hard not to feel beaten down. Then, throw the media in there and a few ignorant people that make you feel like crap. Then, have the government try to take away everything you've fought for in order to make the best learning environment for kids, and a somewhat pleasant place to work.

And here we are today. A little part of me wants to quit, because this whole thing is such a kick in the teeth. But then I shake my head, and remember what we are fighting for. The best job I've ever had! I'm not settling for less than what we deserve -- we, as in the teachers, and the students.