Saying goodbye to a beloved pet

If the world is classified into cat-people or dog-people, I'd probably align myself with the dog-people. I love the unwavering loyalty of a dog, the affection & attention that they give you, their constant companionship, and their happy wagging tails. We had a family dog growing up, and she was the best pet. We never had a cat.

However, when I moved out on my own and into an apartment, having a dog didn't seem feasible. It seemed like having a backyard was rather necessary for a dog, and besides, a dog is pretty high-maintenance. So, I got a cat. His name was Katmandu. We found Katmandu from the local SPCA and took him home. Katmandu was a lovely indoor/outdoor cat, and it wasn't long before we wanted him to have a friend for company.

Camouflage and I were fated to be together; I found her at the local animal hospital and fell in love with her instantly. Her multi-coloured fur was beautiful, and I loved how a line down her face & nose divided her in half, one side grey & one side tan. Her patchy colours looked just like army camouflage. However, I couldn't take her home right away; I was moving, and I wouldn't be settled for 3 more weeks. I told the animal hospital that I would come back, and if she was there, I would take her home with me.

Three weeks later, and true to my word, I came back to get her. She was still there, miraculously. They told me that during the last three weeks, Cami had been taken home THREE times by people, and all 3 times she'd been brought back: a wife didn't get a husband's permission, someone found out they were allergic to cats, and someone decided that they didn't "have room." I like to think she was just waiting for me.

Over the years she has been a terrific cat. She was dainty, and didn't like to be picked up, but she was affectionate and loved to be pet. She was sweet, and often "talked" to you if you addressed her. She loved to perch up on high places or inside boxes, and she always greeted you in the morning. She purred like crazy. The vet said that she was so well-behaved that she should be a "model" cat and used as an example in vet school. She was pretty angelic. She really never did anything wrong or got into anything. She was no dog, but she definitely was a sweetheart of a cat.

A few nights ago, we had to put Cami down. She had kidney damage (this, we knew about), lung cancer (this, we didn't know), and for some reason couldn't stand up or walk. She yowled in pain and she could hardly breathe. It came on so suddenly. We struggled with considering other choices: waiting until morning, taking her home, getting a third and fourth opinion. But in the end I just couldn't bear to see her in pain. The vet was not optimistic, more test results wouldn't change anything, and waiting just wouldn't help. We made the call; it was her time. We stayed with her and talked to her and petted her until she was at peace. It was so sad.

Pets give us unconditional love. They give us their whole lives. We gain so much from them. And in return, we have to endure times when they are sick and can't tell us, in pain and need it to stop. If we don't make the hard decisions, they will try and try and try, just to please us. This is a heavy burden to bear, but worth it I think.

Cami will be missed and her memory will be treasured. She was a great cat. I made two picture slideshows to commemorate her. The first one is just photos with a sad song playing; the lyrics convey the sadness of her passing. The second one is photos interspersed with the poem "The Last Battle" and some classical music. They are both very sad, but I am glad that I made them. They really helped me to grieve and to honour her.

Sadness warning alert:
Saying Goodbye to Cami
Goodbye Sweet Cami

To all pet-owners out there: give your pet some extra affection today. And treasure your moments with them.

"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul."

-Jean Cocteau

Selling Jackson to the Gypsies

I have two cats.

Cami is 9 years old and most of the time, she is an angel. She doesn’t make a lot of noise, she waits patiently to be fed, likes to be near people and is even occasionally affectionate. The worst thing Cami ever does is urinate outside of the litter box if I have been significantly remiss in my duties – which is rare, and pretty much my own fault. She’s quite well-behaved and a very low-maintenance cat.

A few years back I had the bright idea to get another cat to keep her company. I felt guilty leaving her alone all day. In retrospect this seems rather silly since most cats sleep all day, and Cami is no exception. Since she was a girl, I figured that it would work best if her companion was a boy.

And along came Jackson. Jackson is about 4 years old now, but when I got him he was a tiny little adorable kitten. He purred a lot and loved attention. He was (and still is) my “baby.” He always had more energy than Cami, and at first I thought this was a good thing.

However, lately Jackson is driving me nutso. He runs around in the middle of the night and when he’s particularly determined to wake me up, he runs across the bed at various trajectories – usually it’s across my legs, but he’s also been known to run across my head (that’s the worst), torso, or other delicate bits. It’s most disconcerting to be woken up in such a fashion. 3 or 4am is not my idea of a great wake-up call.

It’s particularly bad when my boyfriend stays over. It’s completely endearing and charming that T loves cats despite being allergic to them; he always seeks out Cami and Jackson minutes after arriving, and interacts with them in a playful and loving way. He just takes care to wash his hands afterwards. He takes an allergy pill if he’s staying for a while, just to be sure.

Sleeping here is another matter. If I know that T is going to stay over, I do the best I can to prepare: I wash the sheets and pillowcases, vacuum, swiffer, and use the lint remover on anything that might retain errant cat hairs. All in all, we are both pretty good about controlling his allergy (still, I suspect he has serious misgivings about our moving in together – and rightly so – but that is fodder for another post).

Despite his allergy, T loves cats. But having a cat run across various parts of your body while trying to sleep is totally unacceptable. And when I am at home alone, I deal with it in various ways: I shut the bedroom door (Jackson meows louder and louder outside of it), I fill his food dish (sometimes this works), or I put a pillow over my head and arrange my body so that a cat-race around my bedroom will not cause significant discomfort (but will always inevitably wake me up).

Eventually Jackson calms down and lets me sleep. But when T is here I cannot “wait it out,” and am thus plagued by insomnia. I feel so guilty! I mean, T is extremely tolerant and understanding but when he comes over he already fights an allergy – the least I can do is try to ensure he has the best sleep possible (and I want nothing more than to escape into a peaceful slumber myself)!

Nights like this, when I am woken up over & over, feeling fatigued, stressed and guilty, are the nights that I get grumpy and tell Jackson that I am “selling him to the gypsies.” In the light of the day I try to find practical solutions (although I am not so productive on 3 or 4 hours sleep, ha!) but I feel defeated. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to get rid of Jackson, but I can’t imagine living the rest of my life like this.

And with that, I am off to attempt some slumber; maybe the answer will come to me in a dream!

I have created a monster

I have created a monster. She may not look that scary, but boy is she ever predictable with her prey. At first when she seemed interested in the water dripping from the bathroom sink, I thought it was cute. Now I can't even walk PAST the bathroom and she's bounding in there meowing like crazy until I turn the tap on for her. And it has to be just so, as seen here.